Men who batter come from all socioeconomic backgrounds, races, religions, and walks of life. Even though abusers come from various backgrounds, there are some behaviors that are common among men who batter their partners. These include:

	Denying the existance or minimizing the seriousness of the violence and its effects on the victim and other family members.
	Showing extreme jealousy and possessiveness, which often leads to isolation of the victim from family and friends.
	Refusing to take responsibility for the abuse by blaming it on a "loss of control" due to the effects of alcohol, drugs, frustration, stress, the victim's own behavior, etc.
	Holding rigid, traditional views of sex roles and parenting or having negative attitudes towards women in general.

      Typically, when trying to understand why a man batters, we want to look at what is "wrong" with him, believing that he must be sick in some way. However, battering is not a mental illness that can be diagnosed, but a learned behavior choice. Men choose to batter their partners because the choice is theirs to make, and our society reinforces them by victim-blaming ("Why doesn't she just leave?").

      Battering is an extreme expression of the belief in male dominance over women. To understand why men may choose to batter, it is important to look at what they get out of using violence. Men use physical force to maintain power and control over their relationships with their female partners. They have learned that violence "works" to achieve this end.

      Many batterers grew up in homes where they witnessed their mother being abused by their fathers. Witnessing domestic violence as a child has been identified as the most common risk factor for becoming a batterer in adulthood. If you or someone you know would like help, please call your local battered women's program. The choice of violence or peace begins at home.

Information taken from a handout from the Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women.